Indians with Sex in Their Minds and Fear in Their Hearts

 

Indians with Sex in Their Minds and Fear in Their Hearts

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V.R. Ajith Kumar

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Writer Nirad C. Choudhury once remarked that the average Indian man lives with sex in his mind and fear in his heart. November 23 is his birthday, and as we revisit this ever-relevant statement from the standpoint of the 21st century, it becomes evident that Indian society has not changed much. Although his observation drew widespread criticism at the time, it remains an honest and penetrating assessment. In fact, it applies not just to men but also to women, for Indian society’s contradictions around sexuality affect everyone.

India’s social fabric has long been woven with a peculiar mix of public morality and private repression. Most Indians enthusiastically preach morality in public while concealing their real feelings in private. Centuries of social conservatism, caste codes, and moral restrictions have created a culture in which the discussion of sex is taboo and mature engagement with sexuality is rare. As a result, it becomes a subject of secret fantasies, hidden pleasures, obsessions, and unhealthy thoughts. The gulf between outward moral rigidity and inward sexual impulses denies people healthy avenues for emotional and sexual expression. Instead of nurturing confident individuals, this culture produces people trapped between desire and guilt. In such an atmosphere, fear becomes deeply embedded in one’s personality.

For centuries, rigid hierarchies—kings, landlords, castes, colonial rulers, and later the bureaucratic machinery—taught the average Indian to obey, conform, compromise, and surrender. This produced a habit of psychological submission that continues even after independence. In a society where popularity, respectability, and social acceptance hold enormous value, individuals grow up with a constant sense of fear. Before making any decision, they wonder what others will say, how society will judge them, and whether a mistake will bring shame upon themselves or their families.

The truth is that even those who display outward courage often harbor deep economic, social, and psychological insecurities. The average Indian’s attitudes reflect excessive respect for authority, aggression toward the weak, reluctance to challenge injustice, and hesitation to take risks. Fear, therefore, becomes a more dominant emotion than courage.

Ancient India openly celebrated sexuality—as seen in the Kama Sutra. But medieval and colonial India buried it under layers of silence. While our legends glorified bravery, everyday life taught obedience and caution. Fear, therefore, evolved into a collective consciousness that overshadowed desire. The mind became captive to fantasies and impulses, and the heart was conditioned to retreat, obey, and endure. This is why the average Indian often avoids confronting wrongs or questioning authority. Privately, he indulges in what society condemns; publicly, he displays moral and religious strictness. The result is a state of confusion, guilt, and anxiety—a society incapable of discussing sexuality with honesty.

The combination of repressed desires and unspoken fears often manifests as aggression against the weak, who become convenient victims. Choudhury’s argument that this psychological state has prevented India from developing a society rooted in self-confidence, emotional maturity, and intellectual honesty is, therefore, sadly persuasive.

Choudhury believed that societies progress not by clinging to cultural pride or moral claims but by confronting their weaknesses with courage. His famous statement should thus be read not as an insult but as a diagnosis. It was meant to encourage Indians to rise above historical fear and psychological oppression. Whether society has been able to receive it in that spirit remains doubtful. What is clear, however, is that a society can move toward true self-confidence and modernity only when it courageously addresses its repressed desires and its deeply internalized fears.